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This tale by Hans Christian Andersen tells of a prince in search of a princess. One night, in a big storm, a princess comes to seek shelter at the castle. The prince's mother, in order to determine whether she is a real princess, puts one small pea at the bottom of twenty mattresses.
When asked in the morning how she slept, the princess answers that she slept poorly due to something being in the bed, as if she could feel that pea way down below!
I used to feel like that in relation to emotions. If there was one small emotion deep within me, then I could hone in on it, identify it, feel it, then what I would do is try and get rid of it!
Obviously I only did this with the uncomfortable emotions like anger, fear, sadness, loneliness, and the like. They had to go in order for me to be happy again, right?
For years I did this, totally basing how I was doing, with how I was feeling. When someone asked,"How are you?" My response (if it wasn't the usual "I'm fine.") was based on how I was feeling.
Whew! Well, as you can imagine, that changed often, because the emotions I was identifying with were constantly changing too! Then when I was taught that feelings can be observed, just like thoughts, a whole new world opened up. I realised that I didn't need to base how I was doing with how I was feeling anymore.
Because feelings can change so often, there isn't much stability there. By observing or watching the emotions, instantly a freer experience ensues. It didn't mean I was pushing them down, trying to get rid of them, judging the feelings, or even ignoring them, but by watching them, it allowed all the "peas" to turn to "peace!"
When asked in the morning how she slept, the princess answers that she slept poorly due to something being in the bed, as if she could feel that pea way down below!
I used to feel like that in relation to emotions. If there was one small emotion deep within me, then I could hone in on it, identify it, feel it, then what I would do is try and get rid of it!
Obviously I only did this with the uncomfortable emotions like anger, fear, sadness, loneliness, and the like. They had to go in order for me to be happy again, right?
For years I did this, totally basing how I was doing, with how I was feeling. When someone asked,"How are you?" My response (if it wasn't the usual "I'm fine.") was based on how I was feeling.
Whew! Well, as you can imagine, that changed often, because the emotions I was identifying with were constantly changing too! Then when I was taught that feelings can be observed, just like thoughts, a whole new world opened up. I realised that I didn't need to base how I was doing with how I was feeling anymore.
Because feelings can change so often, there isn't much stability there. By observing or watching the emotions, instantly a freer experience ensues. It didn't mean I was pushing them down, trying to get rid of them, judging the feelings, or even ignoring them, but by watching them, it allowed all the "peas" to turn to "peace!"
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