I Know This Is Just the Beginning

I have changed and I can’t believe it is true.  Something I have always wanted, but didn’t think was possible, was to feel alive, to feel connected and feel I was doing what I had come to this life to do.

I had spent so many years feeling that hole inside, crying out to be filled and not knowing how to fill it.  I had always been so angry or bored with my daily working life.  This could not be the purpose of my life here.  What was I missing, what was I not understanding here?

I had felt confusion regarding my friends, at first trying too hard, then ignoring them all.  I laugh now as I say this, but yes!  

For years I didn’t even understand my friends.  I saw emotions and drama.  I witnessed break-ups and get-togethers.  I heard what people said when drinking and then saw then different when sober.  We all went through the trends of the time, believing that they made us better, the best!

Yet the hole, that craving, the desire to know what this was all about.  It pulled me in my quiet moments, yelled at me in my conflicting moments and whispered to me more and more as time passed.  It was as if I had to know, I had to change something.  And I had no clue.

In the midst of a good life, an active life, a wonderful life… inside me I was not complete.

Now I am so grateful for that, because that craving moved me in directions I might not have thought to go.  I never considered meditation to be for me.  I thought it was only for hippies or cave dwellers.  The new age years were annoying to me and I refused to become “one of them.”

Yet, Ascension isn’t a typical meditation.  It’s usable, un-invasive, livable and easy.  It is not my practice, but for me, has become my lifestyle.  It makes so much sense!

This life journey is incredible and I’m so happy for everything I have experienced, but this is just the beginning.  There is always so much more.