The Gentleness of Return

My sweet grandson is sleeping soundly beside me as I write; a perfect picture of gentleness.

A great sage once said, “If every morning for the rest of your life you say, ‘Today I will be more gentle than I was yesterday,’ you will never become too gentle.”

I love those words! You see, gentleness is one of my favourite words. It stirs something pure and innocent deep within me.

I have a sister who has always been very gentle. I wished with all my heart to be like her… but I just wasn’t. Even though I didn’t believe myself to be gentle, I tried my best to be so, cheering myself on and promising, “I can do it!” I followed the expression, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.”

Have you ever tried to be gentle? For me, it felt like an impossible task. There were so many thoughts running around in my head. Even though they were mostly negative, I truly believed they were there to help me – to guide me in coping with my unworthiness. Perhaps you have thoughts like that too?

At times, I was certain I was the worst person on the planet. “You are too loud, too obnoxious, too stupid, too fat, too ugly! You do NOT deserve anything good.”

Feeling Lost

Quite simply, try as I might, I didn’t know how else to live. I was convinced I lacked the required ‘goodness’ to be a gentle person.

Even so, I spent my life this way –  be in control, keep on trying anyway. It also felt vital that I hide this ‘ungentleness’. If others knew about this part of me, they would no longer love me – and that was my greatest fear: losing the love I worked so hard to earn. How exhausting! I began to lose my health.

On the surface, I was an extremely positive and happy person. My lifestyle was very healthy – eating well and exercising regularly. It never occurred to me that thoughts could make me sick. But there it was: I found myself with an autoimmune disease.

The doctors said I had Multiple Sclerosis, and that there was no cure. Still, I looked for the good. “Always smile and make others laugh,” I told myself. If I could just do that, I could get by.

Finding A Path To Authenticity

Thank goodness I found The Bright Path Ishayas and learned their meditation practice, Ascension.

Initially, I learned The Ishayas’ Ascension simply to better live with chronic fatigue and pain. I never expected anything more. However, more is exactly what I began to experience! My life became magical. As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t know thoughts could make me sick – especially when I hid them so well… LOL. Yet through practising this meditation, the thoughts began to disappear. It was as though they only existed because I believed in them.

You see, the simple techniques of Ascension are based on praise, gratitude, love and compassion. Using them felt really good – really gentle – to my mind and body, unlike the barrage of negative thoughts.

Quite miraculously, I began to notice moments of purity, innocence and gentleness arising within me. Yes!

In this practice, we are reminded again and again not to try, not to control. It really is that simple.

Although I would still notice thoughts, I found the techniques to be like tools I could use at any time I remembered – with my eyes open or closed. In doing so, I would find myself in the present moment.

Again and again, whenever I noticed thoughts, I would use an Ascension technique. It felt as though I was replacing thousands of thoughts with one simple tool.

Revealing Our True Nature

My health –  and my entire life experience – improved greatly through this practice. Yet it was never through trying or controlling. Learning this practice was the greatest gift.

It amuses me now that the harder I tried, the further away I moved from my goal of being gentle – of being ‘good enough’.

Now I experience that gentleness, love, happiness and pure joy have always been my true nature. I do not have to try to be what I already am. It is exactly like my little grandson. He is a bundle of love, joy and happiness – and somehow, I forgot that I am that too.

I am so grateful for Ascension. It is the most gentle return to who I truly am.