The Difference Meditation Has Made for Me

By Sanatakumari Ishaya

At the beginning of my story, I saw myself as a positive and spiritual person who valued harmony and the good things in life. However, my education had not prepared me to earn a living, and I felt I had been dealt a raw hand. I was depressed, burdened with a student loan and facing the prospect of 30 years of hard work to repay it. I blamed the school for my situation.

Weekends were particularly difficult. I struggled to get through them, searching for something to distract myself but often lacking the energy even to do that. At least the routine of going to the office on Monday gave me some sense of structure.

At the time, I did not recognise the disconnect between the way I saw myself as a spiritual person and the way I experienced my life. Then, during a Bright Path Ishayas’ meditation class, I learned that the first step of the practice was simply to watch the mind.

I began to notice that I was telling myself a story about the sad state of my life, blaming my education for where I had ended up. When I learned to step back from that story and see that I could choose whether to focus on it or not, it made a difference.

Even so, I sometimes returned to the story because, in a strange way, I got something out of it. Blaming the school relieved me of responsibility. But when I accepted the challenge to consistently use the meditation technique instead of immersing myself in that story, the change became much more significant.

By the end of the six-week trial period my teacher suggested for the meditation practice, I could honestly say that I had begun to enjoy the practice itself. Sitting quietly with my eyes closed and using the techniques as instructed left me feeling refreshed when I stood up just 20 minutes later.

A Change in Outlook on Life

Along with this, something else began to shift. I started to look on the brighter side of things. I took responsibility for what I did with my education rather than blaming circumstances outside myself. I also began to enjoy my work at the office, making more of an effort to interact with people and step out of my own head.

Weekends changed too. They became filled with outings with friends, creative projects at home, and walks with the dog who had recently come into my life.

The changes brought about by this meditation practice were so rewarding that when my meditation teacher moved away, I continued the practice. I even met with others once a week to meditate together. After about a year and a half, I decided to attend a retreat to deepen my practice.

And what an experience that was. Meditating day after day for 27 days, I noticed many concepts, positions, and limiting beliefs simply fall away (along with about 10 pounds of weight).

I began to see my work and my ability to serve others in a much freer way, no longer limited by my student loan or the fact that I lived in a small community. I started to experience myself differently—as someone who could be aware of the ground of being, pure awareness. From that perspective, everything looked different. I found myself worrying far less about life.

Embracing Awareness

During the retreat I shared my experiences openly, and the teachers confirmed that what I was experiencing was indeed pure awareness, not something my mind had invented. It was exciting to realise that the kind of world-class spiritual community I had once only dreamed about was actually real, and that authentic spiritual guidance was available without needing to travel to India.

My meditation practice deepened further during the six-month process of becoming a meditation teacher. Meditating day after day dissolved many judgements and limitations in my thinking. I became friendlier and more accepting of others. I also noticed that the people around me seemed increasingly beautiful, and I felt a growing sense of love and gratitude towards them.

On one occasion I had a deeply sacred experience of gratitude. As I felt overwhelming gratitude for the tradition of this meditation practice, I experienced an equally powerful sense of gratitude being returned to me – for being here on Earth and helping to ground this meditation practice in real life.

On another occasion, while expressing thanks for this meditation practice through song, my whole body and heart seemed to burst open with unconditional love. It felt as though love was not only coming from the divine to me, but that I myself was love – that everything was love.

These were the genuine spiritual experiences I had longed for and was never sure I would have.

They remain two of the most beautiful highlights of my life with this meditation practice. I carry them in my heart, and no one can take them away from me. They give me a deep certainty that pure being is grateful and loving, affirming that this is the true nature of consciousness.

Moving Beyond Physical Pain

A few years later I developed autoimmune arthritis after a bee sting. For months I tried a variety of natural therapies, which brought some relief but no cure. The pain affected every joint in my body, from my hips and shoulders to my arms and fingers. Even small movements hurt.

At times I wondered if I might have to live with this pain for the rest of my life. My Ascension practice helped me observe these thoughts as they arose and recognise the stories my mind was creating. Although the pain was still there, focusing on awareness rather than the fear surrounding it brought a sense of calm and comfort.

After attending a week-long meditation retreat, I returned home and developed a fever. Following the natural health practices I had been using, I allowed my body the rest it needed while the fever passed. When I woke the following morning, the joint pain had gone, which came as a great surprise and relief. I cannot say exactly what brought about the change, but the experience reminded me how important it was to care for both body and mind during difficult times.

Love in Action

After many more years of practising The Ishayas’ Ascension, I now experience a deep certainty that all is well. People around me do not always see things that way, and I understand why.

Yet I perceive love in action everywhere – everything in its place, unfolding perfectly. To me, everything is made of love and everything happens through love. This reflects the nature of the pure awareness I experience.

Someone once reflected to me that I seem to love myself completely now, and that observation resonated. I no longer censor what I say or do out of fear of judgement. What comes from me feels as though it arises directly from love.

For me, life is simply this moment, here and now, with pure awareness experiencing life as it unfolds. Boundless and full of grace, awareness delights in itself, alive with life.

This is the experience that the Bright Path Ishayas’ practice has brought into my life.