You Are What You Seek
By Jayatsena Ishaya
Have you, like me, been looking for happiness, love and contentment? Have you, like me, tried dating apps and new hobbies, moved and changed jobs to feel fulfilled, to find love and happiness?
I am not 100% sure why I went to a Bright Path Ishayas meditation course. I know I felt broken and incomplete. It felt that there was an emptiness inside me, not a fractured bone visible on an x-ray, but something broken nonetheless.
That brokenness was a yearning. A yearning for something I could not put words on. I had tried parties, drugs, new hobbies, and new friends. But it was like the more I was looking for something on the outside, the more emptiness there was.
"...there was nothing left to lose. So, I went."
So, there I was, having tried all I could think of, and a meditation course could either help me or not. I was at a place where there was nothing left to lose. So, I went.
Meditation Opens The Door To Awareness
People want to meditate for different reasons, but it typically comes down to a few themes. Many, like me, don't have the vocabulary to use, but when we hear it, we know. We want contentment, peace, happiness, love and joy, to feel complete and that we have a purpose and contribute to the broader good. And we look for it on the outside. Because we only know of the outside. Today's society is geared to an external world.
However, from the teaching and practice of Ascension, I have learned that it is not true. All, everything comes from within. The mind doesn't want to believe it, and never will. But with the guidance of teachers, fellow meditators, and your own experience there will come a moment when you know. Not only conceptually but by your own experience. You will understand with your whole being that you are what you seek.
At first this sounds very odd, maybe too good to be true. But think about it. What or who are you? The body, the belongings, the achievements, the thoughts, the place you were born? There are so many qualities we attach to the concept of "me". But perhaps I might be that which is aware of all the labels, of the emotions, feelings and thoughts.
A Game Of Awareness
Let's play! Test this out. Right now, just notice. What are you aware of? The physical room the body is in, smells, sounds, the eyes moving reading, maybe you hear the words in your mind. Take a deep breath; allow it to take time. Notice, be aware, then notice that you are aware and that maybe you are that which is aware.
You don't need to think about it, nor understand it - just allow the experience to be aware right now.
"You can't be aware wrong"
Take a deep breath again, and notice. (You can't be aware wrong or experience wrong, so just keep noticing.) You are doing it all right.
With this game of noticing and being aware, in combination with a meditation practice, like The Bright Path Ishaya's Ascension, you will have more and more experiences where you see the "awarer" beyond that awareness - That which is still and never moves: the source of everything.
In that experience, your heart's highest desire is fulfilled. There is purpose, contentment, completeness and love. Even in the middle of a winter chaotic airport, grocery store days before a big holiday, Hollywood Boulevard or Las Ramblas in high tourist season.
The external experience is just an experience of time and space, where there is a constant chase of a fulfillment that will never be quenched. The mind will never experience completeness, purpose and unconditional love. It will always look for more.
In the end, what is important is that it is all about transcending the limitations of the mind because there is an infinite, timeless space where contentment, clarity, love and happiness are always true. You are that which you seek. What are you waiting for? Cultivate the habits that will allow you to experience this beyond all doubts.