Giving The Gift Of Non-Judgement
By Aditi Ishaya
How Do We Know When To Help Or When It's A Judgment?
Imagine if we just naturally knew what to do in any situation. Or we were able to intuitively recognise what the appropriate action to take is when dealing with people and life circumstances. Or to recognise when we're acting out of judgment of others or ourselves.
I have always wanted to help people in my business career and personal life. It came from a genuine desire to want to make everyone happy and to help people avoid the stresses and discomfort they might be feeling in their lives.
It's something I did with my family, friends, work colleagues, and people in general - everyone! I wanted to fix things for them, make them feel better and wash away their stress and suffering.
My usual approach was to try and say the 'right' thing or to talk over and around the problem without ever finding a practical solution. I would never say what was intuitively there to say or not to say for fear of upsetting them.
With this approach, I'd come away from an interaction with a friend or a loved one and not feel like I'd helped them at all. I'd just reinforced their discomfort and added it to my personal backpack of painful experiences.
Why Supporting Can Be Better Than Fixing
It wasn't until much later in life that I realised that I was treating them as if they were 'broken'. I was desperate to make it all better for them, when all they really needed from me was my support.
It came from the best intentions, but it was a less than effective approach - even though I repeated it repeatedly in my life. It came from a belief that something was wrong and I needed to fix it!
It certainly complicated my life as I was always second-guessing myself. "Should I say this, should I say that." "What do I need to do next?" "I can't be happy because so many people aren't."
It was an exhausting way to live life. I wasn't living my authentic self, but I didn't know how to change my way of being.
When I learnt the Ishayas' Ascension techniques, that all changed. I had the tools to recognise and rest in the present moment, and from there I began to develop my relationship with intuition. It became easier and easier to remain present to what was happening.
I clearly saw that no one was broken, and no one needed my help. All they needed was for me to be present to what they were going through and to take action if it was needed, or not.
It gave me the courage to naturally respond to each moment and do the things that were more intuitive and in harmony with what was unfolding.
Being Present To What Is, Allows Our Intuition To Flow Naturally
The more present I became, the less judgmental and intuitive I became. This enabled me to communicate naturally in ways that were empathetic and compassionate. From that place, what was needed became clear.
Clarity is the natural byproduct of being attentive to this moment. I noticed that grinding on a problem, and chewing on it, had no value. Rather than worrying or fretting about things, I could see my judgments, let them go, feel any emotion that was there, and return to the moment and take action from there.
I discovered it was all down to where I put my attention. Whether I got caught up in my head and put attention on my judgmental thoughts and emotions, or whether I put my attention on the present moment, which was free of thought and free of judgment.
Having No Judgment Is The Greatest Gift We Can Offer Anyone
If we're fully present to what is, there's no room for judgment about a situation or a person. There is only intuitive action or inaction. This allows whatever is presented to be as it is truly meant to be.